Derth of Inspirations

"[if you can't figure out how to end a skit... you eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins in the air]"

---paraphrased anecdote attributed to Jim Henson by Brian Henson

I know I'm not a "stable" individual. I have many problems relating to something called "Attention Hyperactive Deficit Disorder" which is more or less a perminate caffeene buzz in your head when you are trying to sit still or pay attention to something. This has dogged me in just about everything I've tried to do, including reading, school, and well... even talking to people. (I've had more times than I care to admit had to have someone repeat what they just said because I was distracted by something "shiny" that took my attention away.) About the only thing that helps is the standard medication, but even that stuff has it's problems. The majority of the work is will power. But part of process is well... inspiration.

When I am inspired, I find it much easier to be able to do concentrate on what I am doing. And it's a self-perpetuating thing... the more I get done, the happier I get and the more inspired I get. It's the same way with programming, drawing and what have you. Of course, it makes it difficult when it comes to doing anything that I get paid for; results aren't expected, they're demanded and on a time table. It's just like the quote from Dune that I like... "Moods are things for cattle and loveplay..." My moods and problems just get in the way.

This is really why I haven't actually published anything yet... in real life. I've got talent in many areas, but when it comes down to it, I need skill just as much as I need talent, to get the job done. And when it comes to times when there is a derth of inspirations... I have to replace it with determination and perseverance. And a bit of meyaouing.