Dealing with Angry People

“The difference between mad people and sane people . . . is that sane people have variety when they talk-story. Mad people have only one story that they talk over and over.” Maxine Hong Kingston quotes (Chinese born American Writer First-generation Chinese American writer, b.1940)

I'll admit one thing today as a preamble to this post: I am a coward. I knew this when I started playing this game, and I knew it when I started meeting newer and stranger people along the way. Heck, I knew it when I first was yelled at by a total psycho out of the blue because I the two stacks of shihei I put in the AH for 8k sold for 15k. This is why I protect myself from A-Z every day in every way while I am online. I do not want to leave myself open to people's attentions. Heck.. people's.. attention..has the potential to scare me to death.

Now what happens when I am faced with an agry person? Hide? Run? Eat tuna?

I like to think of one of my favorite quotes from the movie "Ghost Busters"

Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

For the most part, I'm a pretty small blip on any single person's radar. So if a person is mad at me, they will probably forget about me as soon as I am out of sight, then out of mind. Its almost cosmic how it works.


I remember one occasion when I was helping out someone with their red mage hat, when the doll was spawned and we started fighting. This was a fight that my friend Goshi and I had duo'd a few times. We start, and Goshi's new friend, a paladin, starts taking hate like crazy. I was trying everything I could to keep her alive--even used Benediction. But she refused to stop and let Goshi tank the mob. And she died... and Goshi & I killed the mob without any trouble--even with me as having next to no MP. This woman blaimed me. Even after I did everything I could do, and even begging her to "stop provoking" so that Goshi could keep hate. She even got her boyfriend to come out and send me tells about how much of an idiot I was. Quite frankly, I just blacklisted the both (I don't have to listen to that sorta thing) and thought nothing else about it. Until the three of us ended up in the same shell...and...they completly forgot all about who I was and what had happened. Trust me; I did nothing to remind either of them about it.

Another occasion was when I was in Bastok leveling my crafts every day when almost every single day I was bugged by the same person for a teleport. Every day I was crafting and seeking at the same time, and my home point was in a central spot so I could get to xp parties the easist way--something that just everyone does. However, none of that mattered to this one person, who simply decided that I was a bad person and proceeded to yell at me in tells about such. What else was there to do but blacklist and move on. However, later, we found ourselves in the same XP party and this time, it could not be avoided and I told the leader I couldn't participate--which got him kicked instead of me. I'm sure that endeared me to him even more.


Sometimes, I wish I had the vaudville option... get mad, pull out the squirting flowers at 20 paces. Competitive "pull my finger" contests. Something disgusting, shocking and makes everyone forget what they were angry about in the first place. Life is too short, and friendships are too dear to worry so much about such things. I remember one person who I had constant arguments with, when finally she and I had a meeting of the minds...and became friends. My other friends were all shocked by the change. But it can happen. Don't be suprised if I come up with "wanna borrow my squirting flower?" if you find yourself mad at me.

If we shadows have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended,

Gentles, do not reprehend:

If you pardon we will mend.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,

And Darlene shall restore amends.